Tuesday, December 22, 2009

::Look at me, I'm Martha F*ing Stewart::


L E B A N E S E:::B A K L A V A



INGREDIENTS
2 cup Med. chopped walnuts or pistachio nuts
1/3 cup Sugar
1 tbl Rose water
1 lb Filo dough
1 lb Drawn butter or sweet butter (Land-o-Lakes Light Butter is the best)
1 Basic syrup recipe

SIMPLE SYRUP
2 cup Sugar
1 cup Water
Few drops of lemon juice
1 tsp Rose water

PREP
Combine nuts, sugar and rose water. Filo dough may be spread
in a buttered 10 x 14 inch pan, brushing each layer with butter. Half way
through the layering, place nut mixture in 1/2 to 3/4 inch layer. Then
continue layering buttered filo on top. Cut in diamond shaped pieces. Bake
at 300 degrees for one hour or until golden brown. Pour syrup over baklava
making sure the dough is well saturated.

BASIC SYRUP PREP

Combine sugar, water and lemon
juice in saucepan. Boil over medium heat for 10 to 15 minutes or until
slightly viscous (225 degrees). Before removing from heat, add rose water
and let come to a boil. Remove from fire and cool.

::RANDOMSIES...PANDOMSIES::



Websites/blogs that make my day that you should try out:

http://www.someecards.com/

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

http://www.pointsincase.com/

http://www.theonion.com/

http://www.ikea.com/

http://www.anthropologie.com/

http://www.goop.com/

http://www.bloomalicious.org/

http://www.piperlime.com/

http://www.jcrew.com/

http://www.bananarepublic.com/

http://www.flickr.com/

Monday, December 21, 2009

::INTERVIEW WITH A CANNIBAL::


Today I interviewed a cannibal, who gave me the insight on a day in the life of a true anthropophaginian. His name is Jon Sligh. Below is a transcript of the very conversation I had with this heathen. After asking several probing questions, I was able to delve into the psyche of this nearly mystical iconoclast. I've also included a photo of this beast and his newly launched man-gum, which is supposed to help curve cravings for human flesh. Moving forward, the conversation starts out relatively hostile with a quick slight from Mr. Sligh after I simply say "hello," as if he plans an instinctual attack, but I am safe from all harm during this instant messaging session as a protective measure, so that I would outlive the interview. You may see below:

(2:38:10 PM) jsligh455: relax. sheesh, you act like you've never met a cannibal before. gosh, you're sheltered.

(2:46:17 PM) Gina: Now, Jon, please dont be offended when I ask you this question..

(2:46:42 PM) Gina: How does cannibalism start. I mean, were you raised by wolves?

(2:47:21 PM) Gina: sorry... I know it's personal.. I didnt want to go there, and you seem to make unusual noises that I've noticed, but I couldn't help but recognize certain wolf-like features... and things..

(2:47:34 PM) Gina: It's just an observation..

(2:49:04 PM) jsligh455: They were feral dogs, not wolves. They were quite civilized and they taught me many important lessons, like the vital importance of loyalty to the pack, and how to dig holes, and how to use teamwork when we hunted elk and the occasional hiker. It may not have been an "ideal" upbringing by your cookie-cutter standards, but THEY'RE MY FAMILY AND I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK ILL OF THEM

(2:50:00 PM) Gina: So, tell me about the habits of cannibals? What do they like to do on the weekends?

(2:51:50 PM) jsligh455: Oh, a lot of things, just like anyone. House-cleaning, watching Netflix, yardwork, stalking victims, skiing, playing with my pet midget, etc.

(2:55:21 PM) Gina: How do you choose your victims?

(2:57:36 PM) jsligh455: Body Mass Index, their fitness and dietary habits, ouija boards

(2:58:52 PM) Gina: Is there any religious affiliations cannibalism is associated with?

(3:00:59 PM) jsligh455: Well yeah, but it's like vegtarianism. Some people from some religions practice it, but it's not just Jainists who practice it. Same with cannibalism.

(3:01:17 PM) jsligh455: The members of my cult practice it, of course

(3:04:45 PM) Gina: Are you Jain?

(3:09:57 PM) Gina: Nevermind that. So, when you mate with someone, who do you typically pick as a mate without wanting to eat them? Or do you eat them?

(3:23:22 PM) jsligh455: It's a complex process. There's no one-size-fits-all formula for choosing either mates or meals. When there is an overlap--the qualifications for both mate and meal, then I know she's a keeper.

(3:23:44 PM) jsligh455: Kind of a praying mantis kind of thing, though it's the female praying mantises that eat the males

(3:27:14 PM) jsligh455: But to answer your question directly, yes I pick them wanting to eat them...
(3:35:19 PM) Gina: So, when you're out places, do you have to control urges?

(3:36:47 PM) jsligh455: Don't we all?

(3:40:16 PM) Gina: So, Jon.... two part question... - do you have a special "cannibal" name that you go by? And, how many are in your tribe?

(3:41:31 PM) jsligh455: It's not a tribe. We're not related. It's more of a cult. Right now I have about 850 followers. I don't have a cannibal name. We're not savages.

(3:49:00 PM) jsligh455: We're currently promoted a new line of people-flavored TV dinners. I think it's going to be a big success

(3:49:27 PM) Gina: What is the branded tv dinner going to be called?

(3:54:56 PM) jsligh455: Healthy Choice has bought our product. It's called FreshFlesh

(3:56:19 PM) jsligh455: Hot Pocket has also bought our Ham, Human, and Cheese product

(4:03:57 PM) Gina: When will these hit the supermarkets?

(4:05:39 PM) jsligh455: Fiscal year 2011. A year or two after that, Whole Foods is supposed to be picking up our Cannibal's Delight line of deli meats. Not sure on that one yet, fingers crossed.

(4:06:08 PM) Gina: Fingers crossed? Is that a is that a play on words?

(4:06:22 PM) jsligh455: har har.

(4:06:52 PM) Gina: Well, is there anything you would like to tell the readers about cannibals? Any fine facts?

(4:07:23 PM) jsligh455: Don't knock it till you've tried it

(4:08:04 PM) Gina: Okay, well that's all the time we have for today. I appreciate your supervised company over the internet. Thank you for joining.

(4:10:40 PM) jsligh455: Any time. Be sure to pick up your complimentary sample of manburger.

:::I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS ONE'S REALLY ABOUT:::


So, I've held off from writing for a few days because I'm waiting for a few people to subscribe to this blog before all is lost, (well, when the first page is no longer the front of the page anymore.) Anyway, I've been mentally preparing for another round of classes this upcoming semester and I will be officially applying to the nursing program soon enough. Sometimes I feel like a fish with a 10 second memory, or maybe a fish out of water, because I feel out of place right now in a lot of areas in my life, but this is no place to blah blah blah at length about my personal life unless it's reflecting any kind of unabashed antipathy for rusty, decrepit, or "challenged" mailboxes.

-So, on another note, there is a guy at work that absolutely gets on my nerves. Everything this guy does, drives me insane, including breathing, typing, eating, and talking. Although these are four main essentials that most people who are particularly alive* do on a daily basis, --but when this guy does it, -I go insane. How many times a day do I need to hear about his drinking problem or his long hair "back in the day," things girlfriends do to tick him off (including having the same hobbies as he,) among other things. The other day, this particular individual kept COMPLAINING of how he wouldn't date any woman who "HIKED" because that was HIS hobby and he would not date a woman who had the same hobby as he. WtF? That's a pretty extraordinary statement, don't you think? Yes, let me say, my hobby is making dessert, so I'm not going to date someone who eats dessert because that is strictly "ME" time. Yeah, right. SURE. NOT going to happen. You had better believe I'm going to be eating the heck out of the dessert and feeding it to whomever the heck I'm dating. GET A LIFE. QUIT TALKING ABOUT STUPID STUFF. And how about when he types? UGH! I can hear every little key being punched so loudly and the spacebar is SO distinctive when he types, so I know when he starts on new words. Hell, I know when he starts on everything. The other day, I thought I was coming back to a silent lunch because nobody was around me, and there certainly wasn't anyone around him, so I thought I was safe. I then sat down and what do I hear? A LOUD POTATO CRUNCH. If you know me already, you know one of my major pet peeve is loud eaters of potato chips. Yes, I know they are a loud food to begin with, but there is a technique to eating chips, so that you're not making it so apparent you're bulldozing a pile of rocks. Anyway, this guy gets on my last nerve. HE's bREAthing again... UGH. oh wait, he's leaving now... yes yes... put on your HP jacket and get the HELL out of here. :)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to live alone...even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish
in a day...a month...and a year...

::Maya Angelou::

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

:::N E V E R say N E V E R :::


I finally decided to do this. Yes, --a blog is something I've never even considered until my friend, Alanna, called me up one day (super excited) and tried to convince me that I would be "all for making a blog" and how much she loved it, etc. etc. I never even once considered it after she said it, -but a month or so later, ensuingly reading pages upon pages of friends whom have created lovely little gabs about their lives and who they are, including random conviviality, I figured it would be a great release for me to participate and leap onto the bandwagon of "blogging." *I thought it was a dead art?* --Apparently, I was very amiss. So, here's to blogging away on the old school "blogspot" I said I would never get on. ::Never say never.::